Hostel accommodation wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the backpackers. All those young men and women who’ve left their homes for the first time and have never cleaned for themselves, cooked for themselves, or truly grasped the intrinsic value of a shower. And they’re unleashed upon the world’s hostels and jazzed up on cheap wine. They fill all those 30-bunk mega dorms with the smell of feet, and the shared fridges with meticulously-labeled bags of rotting food. And they generally vomit, shag, and high-five their way around the world’s tourist traps, staying in hostels along the way.

For this reason hostel managers do a lot of cleaning. Anytime someone spews, shits, or bleeds, it’s hostel staff who clean up the mess. Presumably, though, it sometimes gets worse than cleaning. Surely, from time to time, hostel managers encounter backpackers who are particularly, uniquely unpleasant in new and surprising ways.

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